As my journey began I was dealing with depression, anxiety and insomnia. I was trying to find the right medications and combat the side effects at the same time.  Hating my body, a consistent cycle of not caring what I looked like or how I felt, to disgust about my appearance.  I was unhappy, with lots of fear, low self esteem, and no confidence. I weighed 236lbs, wore a 2x top and my size 22 pants often felt right.

My Motivation for change happened as I became a new grandparent at 40 years old. At this time I began my transition back to full time massage. My friend from work invited me to a HIIT class. When all the stars aligned (my schedule, willingness, and another coworker to agreed to come) I showed up scared but willing. I had previously done Zumba and water Aerobics, I even had a few gym memberships, but nothing was like this. I was welcomed and introduced in my first class. The workout was modified for me in that moment. I was proud for showing up and felt like I was really part of something great! I continued to show up (even when my friends did not) not without fear, but in spite of fear! 

6 months into consistently doing a HIIT class I decided to try out CrossFit. This is when I met Tahia. She always greeted me with a warm welcoming smile like she was happy to see me. She worked with me in a way I could be successful. Tahia encouraged me when I was discouraged, making small but doable suggestions that improved my technique. That’s when I committed to the 530 class, where I became more In love with the community. There were some familiar faces but what was truly amazing was the fight of total strangers! They were committed to being their best and encouraged and inspired each person to do the same. I remember in a partner workout (one partner rests while the other partner works) I had the final round and it was running, my least favorite movement at the time. I started my run, then there my partner was, he was running along side me! We were in it together! I have seen so many examples of this, not just with me, but with so many others! This is the community I call family and I am so humbled and honored to be a member! This 530 family has developed into the Mudder What family! 

Our coach! Tahia is the best coach ever! I have witnessed her work with people from injury to wellness, exceeding the expectations of each individual. I’m not sure of the exact words to explain how smart (genius actually) compassionate, realistic, inspiring and just amazing she is. I have loved being present, watching her dreams develop and blossom into what we have right now the Mudder What family! Her love for fitness and for all of us is contagious to say the least. 

The Fat Loss Interval Program (FLIP) is one of Tahia’s acts of genius! She has figured what we collectively struggle with in regards to nutrition, fitness and commitment. Out of this she has developed a program that is simple to follow. Tahia has kept clear and open communication with each individual. She listens to our struggling and always points out our success. Tahia has considered individual goals, and has tailored plans for each person to achieve those goals. The interval classes are set up in a way that anyone can do them successfully and get the full benefit! I love working out in the group setting because I work harder and have so much fun! But here is another kicker, Tahia also works with people that have a barrier to getting to class, offering remote participation in flip! 

At this point I have been managing my depression with fitness and nutrition, focusing on the actions needed to stay well! Keep moving, eat well, and sleep. Although my depression is not cured and I do have some less then helpful thoughts, I know they are not my truth. I continue to surround myself with positive people working to be their best and I do the same. I have recently hit a huge mile marker for myself with a total of 70 pounds lost! I can do things I never thought were possible. It seems like each time I set a goal with a small voice in my head saying “ya right”, I hit it. I’m about 5 pounds from my goal weight of 160lbs and I’m already planning my next goal!

My current pant size is 12 and I am comfortably wearing a size medium shirt!